A. Professional Spontaneous Speech Event Prompts
Round 1 - 9:00 AM PST
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." -Mitch Hedberg.
"8% of people pronounce Wi-Fi “wiffy”. -MarketPlace, 2014
"What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me." -Amy Poehler.
"45 percent of Americans think that ghosts and demons are real." -Newsweek 2019
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim Carrey.
"Fifty-five percent of people polled said they thought they were smarter than the average American." -National Journal
"Why do they call it rush hour when no one moves?" -Robin Williams.
"The Trail of Tears National Historic Trail covers more than 2,200 miles of land and water routes in nine states." -Cherokee Museum
"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept." -George Carlin.
"41 percent of Americans have never heard of Auschwitz." -The Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center, 2018
Round 2 - 10:00 AM PST
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." -Demetri Martin.
"Robocalls make up 60% of calls in 2021." -CompariTech, 2022
"When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative." -Chris Rock.
"80% of Soviet males born in 1923 did not survive World War 2." -WorldWar2.org
"I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back." -Jimmy Kimmel.
"69% of children aged 2-5 can use a computer mouse, but only a mere 11% can tie their shoelaces." - The Telegraph, 2011"
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." -Bob Hope.
"28% of people who work in IT don’t tell their family and friends for fear of being asked to help fixing computers." -TekSystems
"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down." -Lily Tomlin.
"71 percent of Americans are fairly certain that Alexander Hamilton was president." - Washington University in St. Louis, 2016
Round 3 - 11:00 AM PST
"I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance." - Wanda Sykes
"31% of Americans don't know their neighbors at all." - Pew Research Center"
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” -Joan Rivers
"20% of Valentines Day purchases are for pets." -National Retail Federation, 2019
"Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now." - Mindy Kaling
"People are born with only two fears: falling and loud sounds." CNN, 2019
"Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.” - Kathy Griffin
"7% of Christian Americans pray for a parking spot." -LifeWay Research, 2014
"If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough." -Phyllis Diller
"152 people in the U.S. are named LOL." - White Pages, 2020
Round 4 - 12:00 PM PST
“People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.” —Mike Bechtle
"A four-year-old laughs about 300 times a day, while a 40-year-old would only laugh an average of 4 times." -Psychology Today, 2011
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” —Rita Mae Brown
"No only child has been a U.S. President." -Potus.com, 2022
“If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
"There are six US nuclear weapons that are currently unaccounted for." -Atomic Archive, 2022
"Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers
"Almost 40% of murders in the US go unsolved." -FBI, 2017
"Sane is boring.” ― R. A. Salvatore
"A violin is made from 81 pieces of wood." -Stramford Strings, 2020